Sunday, November 01, 2015

How infertile patients make a bad problem worse.

Infertile patients suffer from lots of problems. Along with the medical problem of not being able to have a baby, there are social consequences of being childless. This inferiority complex then spills over into all other parts of their life, and one of the major casualties is their sexuality.

They no longer feel like having sex. Many feel - What's the point of having sex if I'm not going to be able to have a baby? Sometimes it becomes a chore, and sometimes doctors are to blame for this, because they make patients keep BBT charts and suggest that they use ovulation prediction tools. They're forced to time baby-making, and this takes all the fun out of sex . Sex can become painful, because the wife if  is not lubricated ;  and the husband is made to feel like a performing stud who is forced to have sex on demand , whenever the gynecologist tells them to, whether or not he feels like doing it.

Sex becomes an early casualty of the pressures of being infertile, and this then sets up a negative, vicious cycle. If they do not have sex frequently, their chance of getting pregnant progressively worsens, and as time goes by , the desire to have sex starts declining even more.

The truth is that many infertile couples  might have got pregnant even without seeking medical intervention if they had continued having sex on a more regular basis,

Infertile couples need to be mature enough to understand what's happening to them, and they need to be willing to share this information with their doctor. However, this is often a touchy and sensitive topic, and often doctors won't even bother to ask them how often they're having intercourse. And even if they do, most patients will lie, because they're ashamed about the fact that they're not having sex frequently .

It requires a courageous patient , who's willing to be open; and an empathetic doctor , who is non-judgmental, and who understands how difficult it can be to have an active sexual life when the poor couple is struggling to cope with the multiple problems which infertility poses.

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