I enjoy playing tennis, and do so daily. Ever since my mother fell ill 2 months ago, I have not been able to play . Today was the first day I played again, and it was a great day. The weather was perfect, and it was fun to stretch out to hit the ball and I am happy to be alive. Mixed with this joy is regret that my mother will not be here to share this joy - and some guilt that I am healthy, while she is so ill.
I hope I will be able to learn to respect the valuable gifts life gives us daily - and not continue taking it for granted I have done so far.
Dr. Malpani, please forgive me for offering this thought, but I just had to ...
ReplyDeleteThere shouldn't be guilt because your mother is suffering while you are enjoying life. She gave you life - so that you could live. To give up living it because her own is coming to an end would be like throwing the gift back at her. Far better that she see that you are making the most of the life she gave you ... all the while mourning that she will not be there to enjoy it with you forever.
Perhaps losing someone we love should make us want to live "twice as vigorously" to make up for the loss ... although it does a bittersweet edge to living.
Am thinking of you. Be well.
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. On my good days, it's easier to accept this truth. However, it's harder to come to terms with this on my bad days
ReplyDelete( which happen when she has a rough time or is feeling down)
Few lines..........but so much wisdom! Love you Dr!
ReplyDelete