Infertile couples will often find that they cannot agree on a common course of action. The wife may want to do the fifth IVF cycle, while the husband would rather adopt. It's very hard to come to a consensus - and they often end up compromising, which means they both are unhappy with the decision they finally reach, because it's not their first choice. They both end up as losers.
I remind them that they are on the same side, even if they find they are not on the same page. They need to use win-win negotiation tools, so they are both happy. This can mean sitting down and plotting a course of action, which both are comfortable with. For example, the husband can agree to the fifth IVF cycle, if the wife agrees that this will be their final cycle, and they will consider adoption if this fails.
Of course, hearts are fickle and they can change their minds - but at least this type of planning gives them a path they can both follow together.
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