Making decisions during your IVF treatment: It's always very difficult to accept the fact that you're going to need IVF in order to get pregnant because obviously, everyone would rather make a baby in the bedroom. Who wants to go to a doctor and get poked and prodded in order to get pregnant, something which millions of women do in their bedrooms all the time? This means, as it is, by the time patients come for IVF, they're a little bit depressed, unhappy, have low self-esteem, and there's a lot of confusion in their minds because they've heard so many things about IVF but they're not sure what's right and what's wrong.
There are so many myths; there are so many misconceptions, there are so many misleading websites, and it seems that everyone who has had a baby has become an infinitely expert simply by virtue of the fact that they made a baby in their bedroom themselves. And this is why sometimes making decisions can be so hard Making decisions is always hard, and it's harder for IVF patients because you know that the success rate is not going to be 100%. There are so many variables, and the problem is, you can't control what the final outcome is going to be. The good news is that you should be happy that at least the technology options are available to you. If you had come to us 60 years ago, I would have said, "Look, I'm sorry your tubes are blocked, I can't do anything, or I'm sorry your sperm count is zero, we can't do anything for you." Today, with IVF technology, there's practically no medical problem for any infertile couple we can't solve, so that's the good news.
Yes, I understand it's expensive, I understand the outcome is uncertain, and I understand it may take time before you get pregnant, but at least there's light at the end of the tunnel. This is why when we do an IVF cycle,, it's very important that you make the decision for yourself, so you're in control of your life.
Whenever we make decisions now, we partly use our heads, we use our logic, we try to be rational, and we partly use our hearts. We listen to our emotions, we listen to our feelings, and the fact of the matter is that you can't just use your head and you can't just use your heart. You need to use both and, in fact, it's usually the heart that leads the head.
Unfortunately, this is something that doctors often forget. Doctors think of themselves as being scientific professionals who will only think about technology and technical bits and bobs, and this is the treatment you require, and they forget that their patients are hurting on the inside. The fact that they can't have a baby is disrupting their lives; it's disrupting their careers, it's disrupting their marriage, it's making their relationships with friends, family, and relatives extremely hard, and that's why doctors need to be empathetic, and this is why, as a patient, you need to understand that it's okay to be swayed by whatever. After all, you're a human being. You're not a machine. You're not an animal. You don't have feelings and need to respond to this, but you also need to find the right blend.
The right thing to do is to listen to both your head and your heart. At the end of the day, if for whatever reason, your gut tells you this is not the right solution for you, please respect your gut. It's important that you own the decision and just using your head isn't enough because you need to live with the consequence of that decision for the rest of your life and if you've used both your heart and your head to make a decision you're comfortable with, you'll be happy, you'll be able to keep your baby happy, you'll be able to keep the rest of the family happy. Whereas, if you make a decision you are not happy with, everyone's going to be miserable because you're going to be miserable.
Need help in getting pregnant? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion so that I can guide you!
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