Saturday, October 15, 2022

How to get rid of your emotional baggage ?

 Getting rid of your emotional baggage while being infertile is extremely stressful. It starts affecting self-esteem and it starts affecting sexual desire. You feel incomplete as a woman. Oh, I can't even do a simple thing like have a baby. I can't give my mother a grandchild. You feel guilty, incompetent, and inadequate, and all these feelings start spilling over into other parts of your life, affecting your career. You can't focus. Every time a friend says, "Hey, guess what, I'm pregnant," you're never sure whether to be happy for her or sad for yourself, and you tend to become a bit of a social recluse because you no longer want to go out and meet your friends because all they're talking about is "hey, I'm pregnant" or "my baby is doing this" or "I'm expecting my second baby" and you feel a little bit of an outcast. And of course, all this is going to have a consequence now.

There are some women who are fortunate. They're strong. They're stable. They understand, hey you know, this is a medical problem. It's not my fault. I need to take medical treatment for it. But having said all this, no matter how much you rationalize it to yourself, there is an emotional blue, especially when you see your husband playing with someone else's kid. You feel, oh God, I wish I could give him a baby but my tubes are blocked and I can't and you know, maybe if he married someone else, he would have been a happy dad by now. So there is this burden and we completely get that, but I have one request: Carrying all that emotional baggage will only make life more difficult for you and will not increase your chances of success.

I agree it's difficult because I agree it's difficult to go for an IVF treatment; it's expensive, stressful, and you never know whether it's going to work or when it's going to work, but by being so emotionally invested, they're just making a bad situation worse. The most important thing you need to do is step back, get out of your skin, and stop thinking that you're advising yourself. Pretend you're advising a friend or younger sister. You're much smarter than you were. You're able to find the right doctor.

You're only able to ask the right questions. You're much more able to live with the ups and downs and the uncertainty because you've been there and done that. You know what is involved in an IVF cycle and I tell patients if you're coming to me for IVF, please come with a smile This is not a compulsive treatment, nor has it broken your leg; it is a treatment you choose to take because it increases your chances of becoming a mother or having a baby, and not only does information therapy help to reduce your emotional liability. be a little bit spiritual.

You could either do Buddhism, you could do Vedanta, or you could learn Stoic philosophy. I'm not talking about being religious, I'm talking about spirituality and this actually will help you cope so much better with the ups and downs not just of IVF but of all of life. Simple tools like meditation and mindful awareness will allow you to remain in charge of your IVF treatment no matter what the final outcome is and we're happy to be partners in your journey.

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