Sunny Leone’s story is a great example of how infertile couples can explore multiple options simultaneously in order to complete their family .
She has proven that IVF , surrogacy and adoption are not mutually exclusive options. They are all complementary , and can be explored either in parallel or sequentially.
If your heart is big enough , there is absolutely no reason why you can't do these simultaneously , depending on your personal opinion, and what you think is right for you.
It’s very old-fashioned and myopic to think of these as competitive methods of having a baby !
In our clinic, we encourage patients who come to us for IVF treatment to also explore the option of adoption at the same time. We suggest they register for adoption , because there is never any certainty that IVF will work, and it’s always useful to create a safety net and have a backup plan in case the medical treatment does not go as planned.
Creating a safety net in advance actually stops them from going to pieces in case IVF cycles fail. It improves their emotional resilience and equanimity, and makes it easier to cope with the IVF emotional roller-coaster ride.
Much more importantly, they have peace of mind knowing that they explored all of their options and then chose the one that was best for them, rather than rushing into a decision that they may later regret.
The biggest mistake people make is feeling that signing up for adoption means that they are a failure. In fact, many IVF doctors are reluctant to broach the option of adoption with their patients, because they are scared that their patients will assume that this means that the doctor thinks that IVF will not work for them, and is preparing them for the worst.
Both IVF and adoption are complementary ways of completing a family; – they are not competitive. It’s just that one is a biological solution, and the other one is social. When you make up your mind, please start with a clean slate; - you don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations.
After all, the whole point of welcoming a baby into your life is so that you can share the lessons that life has taught you with the next generation.
The great thing about having a baby is that it helps you look at life with completely new eyes. Babies help you to learn, unlearn, and relearn, and the fresh infusion of energy and love that they bring to your life is priceless , so it doesn’t really matter whether you have a child through IVF or through adoption – they will both love you equally , and you will reciprocate this love equally as well.
If you do not explore the adoption process , you will never know whether that would have been a better option for you as compared to IVF . While it may seem to be a convenient shortcut , the reality is that there is a long waiting list for adoption as well – and it’s not the right solution for every infertile couple either. This is why you should explore all your options in parallel with an open mind , and then finally select the one that works best for you.
Need help in getting pregnant ? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion so that I can guide you !
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