Wednesday, January 12, 2022

How ignorance causes infertility


One of the commonest causes of infertility is ignorance .

This might sound surprising , because you would expect that in this day and age of sexual enlightenment, where everyone has access to Google , everyone would know everything about how to have sex , and what their fertile time is .

You would be completely wrong !

Even people who think they are well educated actually have very little understanding of medical concepts  such as ovarian reserve , trying time, or how to track their ovulation.

In fact, some couples don't even know how to have sexual intercourse properly . Many Indian couples are virgins,  and no one has ever taught them how to have sex . As a result of this, a lot of the information they get is derived from watching porno films , which distort reality.

This is why many of them believe they aren't able to perform , and this sexual inadequacy is compounded by their ignorance.

This problem gets progressively worse over time, because neither the husband nor the wife knows what the problem is - or even if there is a problem ! They don't know how to find a solution, and keep on groping in the dark (pardon the pun, I couldn't resist !)

This starts to become a negative vicious cycle . Every time they try to have sex, they are burdened by their past failures. As a result, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This causes anger, resentment, and guilt . Many of these couples have an inferiority complex , because they are ashamed that they can't even do something as simple as having sex properly .

Sadly, this is not one of the things that they can talk about openly to anyone , as a result of which they hide the fact , and suppress it. This becomes the elephant in the room, and because it's such a touchy and sensitive topic, and because neither husband nor wife is comfortable bringing it up, this makes a bad problem even worse .

While schools are supposed to provide sex education, they do a terrible job at this, and this is why many adults don't know what to do in order to have intercourse properly in order to get pregnant . This creates all kinds of problems , such as premature ejaculation , and vaginismus. The bigger tragedy is that doctors often make this even worse ! Rather than sitting with the patient , and patiently counselling them , by explaining to them the normal physiology of the sexual act , and what they can do in order to solve the problem for themselves in their bedroom , they medicalise the problem.

They know they will make money by treating the problem in the clinic, even though they know that the couple could solve this for themselves in their bedroom , with the right information .

Putting a medical label on the problem makes it even worse , and these couples become dependent on a doctor in order to get pregnant . This may be great for the doctor , because it helps them to make more money , but it is really not fair for the patient .

This is why, one of the first things I do when I talk to patients who have sexual dysfunction as the underlying reason of their infertility, is to advice them to invest in information therapy , and buy the right books , so they have a better understanding of how they can deal with this themselves.

This can be very reassuring for them , because they realise that they are not the only people in the world with this issue - and that other people have dealt with this problem successfully in the past.  Armed with this information , many of them are able to fix the problem for themselves in the privacy and comfort of their bedroom without having to waste any money, which is great for their self-esteem, and helps them to make their marriage even stronger.

Need help in getting pregnant ? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at so that I can guide you !


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