Why do IVF doctors lie to patients?

We often see IVF patients who are quite unhappy with the quality of information they've received from their doctors. The one thing which bothers them a lot is that doctors change what they tell them, and this is why they don't trust them anymore .

A common example is that at the time of the embryo transfer, the doctor is very optimistic and hopeful. He gushes about the high quality of the embryos he has created in the lab, and says things like, " Of course you will get pregnant ! You have a 90% chance, because your uterus is perfect, and your embryos are beautiful. These are  grade A embryos and because your transfer has gone off smoothly , you have a very high chance of success, so best of luck !"  He's trying to transmit a lot of hope and positivity and optimism to the patient, but unfortunately these are just empty words. He does not provide the patient with any documentation as to the embryo quality, and because he does not provide photos of the embryos, she's pretty much forced to believe everything the doctor says ! She's quite happy during the 2 ww, because the doctor is so positive and hopeful !

However, when the beta HCG comes back as negative and she goes for a followup visit to the doctor, he starts singing a completely different tune. He says things like, "Well, you didn't get pregnant because your embryo quality wasn't very good, and we will need to use donor eggs " . Or he may say - " Your uterus lining was not very good, and we will need to do additional tests to determine the reason for the failed implantation." The patient feels cheated and let down, because it now appears that the doctor wants to wash his hands off all responsibility for the failure !  She wonders - "Why did you tell me that my chances were very good at the time of the transfer ? Why are you now saying something so completely different?" She starts losing confidence, not only in that particular IVF doctor, but in all IVF doctors , because she thinks that all IVF doctors are pretty much the same.

This is why it's so important that patients demand that their IVF doctor provide photos of their embryos routinely to them . This is good for the doctor as well, because it inspires trust in the patient. They can see that the doctor is  very confident , and knows he doing a good job, which is why he is willing to be open and transparent . This simple step will help to keep IVF doctors honest, and will also ensure that the patient has realistic expectations from their IVF treatment.

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