Saturday, August 01, 2015

Why IVF patients need to listen to their Head and their Heart

Patients come to us from all over the world for their IVF treatment, and they understandably have lots of questions.
Some of these are medical questions - What’s your success rate? Which treatment would be better for me?  Should I use donor eggs or can I try with my own eggs?  What is the effect of my low AMH level going to be? Many are questions about logistics , such as - How much is it going to cost ? Can I afford the treatment ? How do I come to Mumbai ? Where will I stay ?  All these are important questions as well, and we try to do our best to answer them, but often patients get confused as to which answers are important, and which are not.

Sometimes patients get overwhelmed by the complexity of making such crucial decisions. We tell them that they have to use a process in order to come to the right decision. Some decisions are too important to be left up to the doctor and, even though patients often want the doctor to make the decisions for them, this is not the right approach when dealing with infertility. Infertility is not just a medical problem - and the choices you make ( for example, should I use donor eggs or not ?) will have repercussions which affect the rest of your life . Patient preferences inputs are extremely important when making such life changing decisions.

We suggest that patients use a simple 3-step process, which involves using their head, heart and then their purse, in that sequence.

First, use your head, so you can understand what your options are. Do your homework, research your choices and be analytical about it.  It helps if you imagine you are doing homework on behalf of someone else, and you are just trying to guide them.  This allows you to be dispassionate and balanced, so you don't prematurely close your mind to alternatives. You need to include non medical options ( such as adoption and child free living as well). Make a complete list , so that you know that you’ve covered all your options.

You now need to listen to your heart, and start listing them in order, so you list them as Plan  A , Plan B and so on.  This kind of intelligent analysis will help you to make sure that you’ve covered all your bases and thought through everything carefully.  This way you don’t go to pieces just in case Plan A fails, because you know there is always a backup.

It’s really not true that one option is any better than another. All options are equally good, and you need to decide which is right for you. This can only happen if you listen to your own gut and respect what your heart is telling you.  These are not questions which should be answered by the doctor - they should come from your intuition, because it’s your child , and if you make decisions you’re happy with, you’ll be happy , and you’ll keep your child and your family happy.

It’s only after you’ve done these two things that you then need to start thinking about the logistics. How much will the treatment  cost ? How much time will it take ? How do you organise your travel ?  Incidentally, the logistics is actually the easiest bit to handle.  We have lots of resources on our website about how to travel to Mumbai and where to stay.  Also do remember that you’ve done this before - for example, when you’ve gone on an overseas holidays . If you do the first two steps properly, the logistics and practical details will fall into place very easily, and we’ll do our best to make it easier for you.

We do this for a living and we’re good at what we do.  We treat patients from all over the world and we’ll be very happy to help you - after you've made the right decision for yourself - to build your family.

Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at so that I can guide you better !

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