Friday, December 11, 2009

Coping with IVF failures

Being infertile is bed enough, but failing an IVF cycle is often a hundred times worse. Often, the IVF cycle is the "last ditch" attempt at getting pregnant. Lots of hopes are riding on the cycle - as well as lots of money ! When the cycle fails, lots of patients despair of ever being able to have a baby, and it can be very hard for them to cope with the failure. They often feel that their bodies are flawed, because they have "rejected" their embryos; and they feel guilty because of all the money which has been spent and wasted.

Unfortunately, human reproduction is not an efficient enterprise - and the possibility of failure will remain an integral part of each IVF cycle.

While you may not be able to influence the outcome, how you deal with the failure is something you can learn to do well !

There are always two variables in any event: external; and internal. While you may not be able to do anything about the externalities ( such as your age), how you respond is an internality you can control !

It's amazing how very differently patients respond to failure. Some curse themselves and blame the doctor - while others bounce back quickly, analyse what they learnt from the failure, remember to thank God for giving them the opportunity to at least try IVF - and then move on with their lives. The failure could be an unhappy part of your life - or a positive one, because it gives you peace of mind that at least you gave it your best shot !

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