Monday, February 28, 2022

IVF doctors as coaches and guides


As an IVF doctor , I tend to think of myself more as a coach and a guide , rather than just as a technically skilled professional.

Yes, I am a medical expert , and have more medical knowledge than my patient does , which is why it's very tempting to make decisions for my patients . Partly, this is because what we are taught to do in medical college -  to make decisions so we can help patients get better. Also, patients expect doctors to behave in a deterministic paternalistic fashion in India , because they want an expert who will provide them with answers , rather than leave the decision making up to them .

Now it's much easier to tell patients what to do , because it saves a lot of time during the consultation. Answering questions and clarifying doubts takes time, and doctors want to be seen as omniscient and omnipotent !

This is why the natural inclination is to decide on behalf of the patient, but I don't think this is in the long-term best interests of the patient , because the future is uncertain and unpredictable , and while we may offer medically sound advice which is in the patient's best interest , when the IVF cycle fails, the patient may feel that the doctor misguided them in order to maximize his profit.

This is why we encourage patients to invest in Information Theory , and to listen to both their head and their heart when making such important decisions. If you own your decision , you have peace of mind that you followed  the right process , no matter what the final outcome maybe.

Now I understand that this is a complex learning curve , and you may never be confident that you have made the right choice.

You can always ask your doctor for their opinion about your decision , and a good doctor is happy to provide a second opinion – but the first opinion should actually come from you , as the patient .

This control will help you understand exactly what is happening , which will reduce your anxiety levels considerably.

This investment in Information Therapy just requires a little bit of time and energy , and doesn't cost anything at all, simply because there is  so much high quality information available online for free.

The trick is to go to reliable websites such as , so you know that you are not being taken for a ride . Trying to understand the jargon is a little scary in the beginning , and you may get lost because of all the medical details, but over a period of time , I promise you it will definitely become easier .

Please don't underestimate your intelligence , and your ability to make your decisions for yourself by going through the medical literature .

Good doctors will help you do this , because doctors aren’t mind readers , and we want you to make your own decisions for yourself , so we can behave as trusted partners in your journey.

Need help in getting pregnant ? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at so that I can guide you !

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