Lots of infertile
women are depressed because they
think life is being very unkind to them. The fact that beggars can have
children at the drop of a hat, but they can't even perform such a basic
biological function ( which millions of others can perform effortlessly ) hurts
their self-esteem. This spills over into other parts of their life, and affects
their personal relationships and their professional productivity as well.
Their unspoken plea is – ‘Why me? After all , I haven't hurt anyone, and am
likely to be a good mother, so why is God punishing me ? ' They start blaming themselves,
and believe it must have been something they may have done in the past ( or in
an earlier lifetime !) which is causing them to become infertile.
You need to stop
beating up on yourself - infertility is a medical problem, and it was not
caused by something you did or did not do ! God does not punish anyone, and you
need to learn to look at your problem more objectively, so you can deal with it
constructively.
1) Take
control
While this can be a distressing diagnosis, at least being
able to put a name on the problem can help you take a step in the right
direction to solving it. The good news is that there are many options available
for family building - both medical and non-medical - so you can start exploring
this. You don't need to remain a passive bystander or leave everything upto
fate !
2) Learn to
be kind to yourself
Stop blaming yourself , and don't mull over the past or
wallow in self-pity. Playing the "woulda, coulda, shame" game just
makes a bad situation worse, and doesn't change matters. You need to move
forwards, and remind yourself that this
is a medical problem which needs a medical solution - and the good news is that
this is now easily available.
3) Talk to
your friends and family
Sharing your feelings with your loved ones is great way to
help you get through the grief. Let your
family and close friends be the support you need through this tough time and
instill positivity around you. Keeping a personal diary and journal can also
help, as it allows you to vent safely. You can also find lots of other
infertile women online, who will support you without being judgmental.
4) Be
Proactive
Stop thinking about your past and start working on your
future. While the final outcome is not
in your hands, if you do your homework properly, you will have peace of mind
you did your best.
Staying positive is a big step towards leaving behind the
self-blame game. Infertility is difficult to handle, but with internal positivity and external
support, you can find a solution !
Hello doc. Wonderful blog.. Its full of positivity. Can I get your email Id? I need your advice on some infertility issues..
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