Saturday, March 24, 2012

How IVF changes you as a person

Being infertile is a major life crisis and can have a huge impact on your life. It's not just the anxiety and the uncertainty of waiting to find out where you're going to have a child – it’s the impact this can have on you as a person.

A lot of people find that their struggle with infertility changes their personality. Some people become angry, frustrated and unhappy when they find they can't have a baby. The starts affecting their self-esteem and they get an inferiority complex . They refuse to attend parties , social gatherings and marriages, because they are fed up of having to deal with prying queries from strangers as to why they don't have a baby as yet . They tend to become isolated and socially reclusive. Their belief in their own competence is shaken up because they cannot even perform the basic biological task of bearing a child.


Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. This is so true and I can completely relate to it. Having personally gone through this, I have come to realise that after doing your bit, you have leave certain things to God/Chance.
    Very well written !!

    Though I have not interacted with you, your site and blog have been my constant companions throughout my infertility treatment.
    You are a wonderful doctor and more than that a wonderful person !!

  2. Anonymous5:57 PM

    Dear Dr,

    Infertility is a great teacher. Perhaps, I would have never been the same person as I am now; if I would have had children without any problem. At some point of my infertility journey I actually started to enjoy it because it taught me who I am! It increased my self-esteem. I never thought I can be so strong. Not only infertility, all adverse events in life teaches us some important lesson. We should be ready to learn and make sure not to shrink within ourselves with self-pity.

    Dr, I wanted to ask you something. You deal with so many different patients and I am sure they share with you many different emotions too (happiness, sadness, desperation, anger, guilt etc). What impact does it have on you? How do you actually deal with it? How did it shape you as a person? For example if my friend shares with me her happiness or sadness it is somehow infectious. My mood changes accordingly too. How do you balance yourself with such a stressful job?

  3. That's an interesting question ! Yes, I am human too, and when patients are happy, my happiness increases as well.

    It's hard when a cycle fails - but I need to help them cope with the ups and downs of the treatment, so it's important I keep my cool. Dr Anjali feels I get depressed very easily when the cycle fails, but I try my best not to communicate my sorrow to the patient - they have enough to deal with , as it is !

    On the whole, it's a fun job, because we are helping to change people's lives for the better - and the emotional income is unbeatable :)

    Dr Malpani

  4. Anonymous8:46 PM

    Dear Dr,

    I wish you (your patients!) more and more success so that you never have to be depressed :) Tell Dr. Anjali that 'an anonymous fan of mine has conveyed her regards to you' :)

    Have a wonderful sunday!


Get A Free IVF Second Opinion

Dr Malpani would be happy to provide a second opinion on your problem.

Consult Now!