I feel you should make these decisions for purely selfish reasons. Unless you are happy , you will never be able to keep anyone else happy. You should concentrate on maximizing personal happiness , so that you can share your joy with others. Everything else will fall into place . Some people prefer becoming a martyrs – I will forego the IVF treatment, even though I want to do this more than anything else, because it is too expensive. I will sacrifice my happiness for the sake of my family members. This doesn't help at all. Often, this gesture is not appreciated , because they don't even know that you're making such a big sacrifice on their behalf. Secondly , you are likely to resent the fact that you made a decision , which was not in your best interests , for the sake of someone else. You expect to be praised for this – and when this is not forthcoming, you will start feeling that what you did was in vain. Ironically , if you had discussed this decision with them, they would most probably have told you to do what your heart tells you ! People who really love you will help you to do what’s best for you ! Rather than worry about others, it is important to listen to your head – and your heart. These decisions need not be justified or rationalized, because no one else has the right to sit in judgment on you. Some of the questions are complicated , and the bottom line is there are no easy answers. You can't go by what others have done – and there is no established track to follow. There is no such thing as a wrong answer , if you decide the answer for yourself.
Remember that love gets multiplied , it doesn't get divided. If you want to add another child to your family, not only will you love that child a lot , your will continue loving your existing children as well !