Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Am I shooting blanks ?

While a lot has been written about what women experience during infertility treatment, not much has been written about the man's experience. Partly this is because men are usually reticent , and are not willing to share their feelings , in contrast to women , who understand the importance of sharing , and realize that by talking to other people, you can reduce your own emotional burden. The biggest fear which men have is that they are shooting blanks. In fact, this is one of the reasons why a lot of men are very reluctant to get their semen tested .

If there is a delay in conceiving, it’s much easier for him to assume that it’s his wife who has a
problem ! After all, isn’t it’s the wife's job to have a baby ? He also believes that if his sexual performance is adequate , their fertility must also be fine , so why bother to test ?

In reality , a lot of men are petrified that they may be shooting blanks . They are worried that the test will show that their semen may not contain enough motile sperm. After all, most men today know that about 40 percent of the time , it’s man who has a problem when a couple is infertile.

They are scared that if they do a semen analysis and then find out that the problem lies with them, they will lose face - not only with the wife , but with the rest of society as well. The fear of being found to be infertile is often confused with the stigma of being considered to be sexually inadequate, as they still do not understand the relationship between fertility and sexuality.

Lots of them are scared that they may have run out of sperm because they used to masturbate frequently as teenagers ; while others are worried that their penis is too small or that their erection is not hard enough or that their semen is too watery – all of which may point to having a problem with their fertility !
A lot of these fallacies are made worse by quacks who scare men into believing that “ night falls” are a sign of sexual weakness.  Men often don't know where to get reliable information , as a result of which they bottle up their fears and anxieties. It’s because of these repressed fears that many men are reluctant to get such a simple test like a semen analysis performed – because they are worried that they may be found to be lacking – a fear which they are  not willing to share with the wife or their doctor, which just exacerbates the problem .



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