Ever since I was
a young girl, I knew I was extremely lucky in every path that I walked - parents,
schooling, childhood, education, money, family, marriage…everything was just so
perfect….till the point when suddenly I found out I wasn't being able to get
pregnant. That's when I started feeling unlucky….It was the time when I started
believing God doesn’t give everything to everyone…
There were only
coping mechanisms which I could think of - leave it or live with it…Leaving it was more
difficult than living it. People around you don’t let that happen. Every
function that you attend, people wouldn’t care how well I was doing in my life -
they were concerned - or pretended to be concerned - about me having a baby. Special
thanks to the great Indian mentality of interference and giving opinions even if
they are not asked for. It was painful for me to attend naming ceremonies, birthdays
of friends’ kids and walking in there without a kid. Especially when I had seen
friends doing abortions for whatsoever reasons, I used to get highly upset. It
was very easy for them to end a pregnancy and they never knew how hard some people
have to try to just start a pregnancy. But everyone owns their life and all I
had to do was own mine and take some steps.
Being educated
and well aware of medical advancements and our poor lifestyle leading to
stressful life, we never were embarrassed to go to the infertility doctors. Checking
our reports, they said everything looks normal except for my low AMH levels. We
had lots of tests, hysteroscopy etc. as a part of the preparation. One of those
very renowned doctors told us to attend his lectures if we wanted answers to
our queries, as he was too busy to answer them one on one. It was my last day
in that clinic.
Another doctor
didn’t have time for anything - only a few minutes which they could give us - and
everything was handled by her juniors. We
underwent 1 IUI and 2 IVF cycles out of which one was successful but ended
around 8 weeks. The amount of medicines and injections that I had to take was
horrendous. The worst part hit us when the doctor refused to attend our calls
when we were so paranoid and panicked as we were losing our baby.
We had tried 3
different doctors in this field, who were supposed to be top-notch, and we felt
we were being treated as a widget in a factory. It seemed to be an assembly
line approach, with no human touch. I should say it was a BUSINESS in true
sense with only commercial approach. I agree it’s their means of living but for
god’s sake they were handling the feelings of emotionally fragile people. To do
IVF, one has gone through a lot , and is already very vulnerable - I wish they understand
this. And I gave up , both emotionally and physically.
Taking a foreign
posting was one of the major reasons to go away from all this. In office
abroad, when I said I don’t have a kid, the reaction was usually one of
sympathy. No one tried to pry into our personal life, and this was such a great
blessing . However, away from home, and away from family, the emptiness started hurting more. All thoughts
started coming to me including adoption, surrogacy and many more.
And one day I
was travelling in train and vaguely remembered our family doctor referring to
Dr Malpani to my parents as they were discussing about we not having a baby
yet. All I remembered was Dr Malpani and Colaba. I immediately googled it and
started reading his website. The first thing which I remember clearly was second
opinion. I found that so interesting and all the information on website was so
helpful. I decided to send an email and before even I could imagine I got a
reply from the doctor himself. This was the first positive vibes I got and I felt
very touched. We took his appointment and the first meeting itself was so positive
and assuring. I never met such a doctor who speaks so nicely, to the point and
is not tired of responding your questions. We had done our earlier IVFs with my
own eggs though AMH levels were low. We discussed this with the doctor and egg
donor option was discussed. I know it is a big step but at least one of the
genes will be of your partner and you can feel the motherhood has much more
positive points as compared to when you will go for an adoption. It was my
fight with my mind but one needs to be practical in life.
The entire
process was seamless and support of the staff is remarkable and we felt like a family.
It was beyond the expectations on how you would like to get treated especially
when you are on an emotional roller coaster. From reception to the OT, all were
just so nice to us. Even after the procedure, every email was answered
immediately. This proves that this is much more than just a medical treatment
for the clinic . I cannot thank Doctor Malpani and his
team enough for making the process so satisfying and making our dreams come
true…..
I would like to firstly congratulate you on your motherhood. I was so touched by your story because it was the exact thing that I went through, your same exact emotions, situations, procedures, diagnosis and ended up with same treatment and I can't express my gratitude to GOD for giving me enough discrimination to embrace the path and to trust Dr. Malpani by leaps and bounds and today I see the miracle moving, laughing, smiling, hugging me. How can I ever repay the debt? Thank you Dr. Malpani!
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