Seventeen years of
experimentation has come to an end. It all started since about three years of
marriage when we decided to have a child. Both of us were keen not to take any
measures in the first three years which could harm conception in future, hence
she never took any pills for control.
A few months passed by, and we started
doubting that something was not normal.
A couple of more months and we decided to
consult doctors. At that time we were near Bangalore, in a small industrial
town in the Southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu. We consulted a clinic there.
We started hearing about hormone tests, semen analysis, sperm count, motility
and several other terms which were new to us. Sperm count and motility of the
sperms were the issues identified. Her scan was perfect and she had clock like
precision periods. To improve motility Vitamin tablets, hormone injections etc.
started being part of our routine. A couple of months went by with no specific
effects, except for the fact that occasionally the dosages of injections were
increased or a costlier injection was prescribed. Both of us were young amongst
the ones who will think about a treatment for infertility, as we got married at
the earliest possible legal age in India, hence the stress of not having a baby
was not really into us during those days.
Nearly a year passed by and all these became
serious, and we started worrying about not having a baby. We were advised to
consult a centre in Salem another Tamil Nadu city nearby and there I had an
ultra sound scan and they detected me having bilateral varicoceles. This
finding gave a relief to us because now we have a reason to blame and possibly
a cure out there is waiting for us. In a couple of months I underwent surgery
for bilateral varicoceles. The urologist who did the surgery had told us that
there could be an improvement in sperm count and motility but such an
improvement is not guaranteed; also the effect of the surgery could take some
time to show up.
Post the surgery, we waited three-four months
hoping that the quality of sperm will improve, but nothing happened. Things were
becoming serious, as our relatives who are of our age are getting married, and
few of them have conceived. We were advised to consult an infertility clinic.
This was a decade ago, and during that time such clinics were rear in South
India, especially in my state Kerala. People were sceptical too on such
treatments.
After several rounds of discussions with
parents we finally decided to consult an Infertility clinic in Trivandrum. The
lady doctor who was a well-known gynaecologist was now offering infertility
treatment also. Her appearance in several television chat shows on pregnancy
and infertility gave us the confidence on her. It was almost like a start-up
clinic that time. We still remember the first day when the doctor’s husband,
(he was coordinating and managing the logistics of setting up the start-up
clinic) took us to different rooms having scanner / microscopes and cryogenic-cylinders.
We were explained about the Intra-Uterine-Insemination (IUI) and how it could
be of help to us. And we started our experimentations with IUI. Each visit was
such a painful experience that we had to be in queue with long periods of waiting, with no certainty on when we will be
able to go home. A treatment day was a day when you cannot plan anything else. Believe
it or not we did almost half a dozen IUIs, with no success. Each time after the
IUI my wife will get a new batch of friends who had IUI along with her. After
few weeks you will hear some of them got positive results from the IUI, this
kept us trying again and again. When we started being desperate they introduced
us IVF. The cost was a deterrent to us to get into this treatment. And we had
to take a couple of months break to take this up.
Once we had enough funds to invest on the
experiment of IVF, we approached the clinic again. This time the procedure was
horrible and tiresome for her. The clinic did not have a resident embryologist.
They were getting him from Hyderabad and because of the cost involved for his
flight; they always did the egg collection in batches. The fee for the
embryologist should be given as cash and no bank transaction will be accepted
and bill also won’t be given. Clearly this was going as black money for the
specialist. To optimize the embryologist’s expenses the clinic modified the
periods and ovulation cycles of patients to get critical number of patients in each
batch to cross the breakeven. This put a lot of mental and physical pressure to
my wife.We were told that the eggs fertilized and we were all hopeful. The
embryo transfer happened as planned followed by waiting for the result. With
all those struggle and mental tension fuelled by the massive investment on IVF
the results were negative. This shattered our morale and the cost involved in
the treatment made a deeperimpact. Now we were introduced to the term
“unexplained infertility”.
A couple of months in despair went by, and we
decided that we first take steps to improve the quality of sperm before we invest
further on IVF. We turned to alternate medicines in the hope of improving the
sperm quality. Ayurveda, Unani and Siddha were the ones we tried. And each of
them we would have tried for four months to six months, followed by waiting for
a couple of months to see if the effect is reflected in the sperm quality. In
this process we realized one thing; alternate medicines are not really cheap
especially when it comes to treatment of infertility, as some of them even have
gold in powdered form in it!! Taking those will improve the glow in your face,
reduce the weight of your pocket and increase your weight!! But certainly you
will find several cases where people claim to have got success with these
treatments, and my personal opinion is that such cases would be when either the
problem is of general wellbeing, hormonal deficiencies, vitality or sperm quantity.
Our desperation started to grow; we did one
more round of IVF at the same clinic and this time also with no success. By
this time they had built a multi storey hospital for infertility!!
We changed the hospital to another one in
Trivandrum itself. The doctor here asked only about the number of IUIs and IVFs
undergone and if the embryos were good. He did not ask for any other previous
records. Here too we had half a dozen IUIs and a couple of IVFs. None of them
succeeded. The doctor suggested trying ICSI even though costlier. After a
couple of months of waiting for funds we did an ICSI and that too failed.
After about a year someone advised to consult
an endocrinologist. After a few tests I was advised to take some medication and
hormone injections. This was a horrific period for me. I was not able to sleep
and was feeling very stressed, and when I manage to sleep somehow it used to be
a very restless sleep. All these added to the fact that we did not find any
significant and sustainable improvement in the quality of sperm forced me to
stop this treatment.
By now it was more than twelve years after
marriage. We badly wanted a break, as this was getting into our minds too much.We
started accepting the fact that we have tried our possible level best, and this
is all out there what medical science can provide us at that point of time. What
if we just forget about a baby and start enjoying the life? This was not easy
but we did manage it, except for occasional incidents of mental agony.
We were getting older and our parents were
hinting at options of adoption. We were not mentally prepared for that. Whether
we were confident of having a baby of our own… not really… but somewhere deep
in our thoughts we believed that whatever is meant for us will happen.
Then one day one of my mother’s friends pointed
us to a facility in Mumbai which offers infertility treatment and gave the link
to the clinics website. This website I
had visited some six years back. What was interesting to us was the money back
offer if the treatment fails. But in this package we have to pay charges for four
IVF/ICSI cycles in advance. Cost of logistics and stay at Mumbai added to the
advance cost of four IVF/ICSI’s was not affordable for us during that period.
But now, this was probably the last treatment we will be able to attempt before
the age factor would deny any more attempts. Moreover with the financial
support from parents for the advance amount and the savings we had during our
“hibernation from treatment” made this an affordable or rather manageable
option. And even if the attempt fails the money back offer will cushion out
some of the mental trauma.
The website was very clear with plenty of
information. Even the medicines that will be administered were clearly
mentioned. Finally we decided to do our final attempts at Malpani Infertility
Clinic, Mumbai. Our first encounter with the doctor was an eye opener. With
respect to all our earlier treatments what was provided by the doctors to us as
records of treatment were very minimal. Blood test reports/ bills etc. No
photographs of embryos were provided; we were not even shown the embryos. Apart
from the treatment options the consultation with DrAniruddha Malpani went on to
Patient’s Rights. The discussion with the doctor gave confidence to us. And
most importantly there was no long queues and the waiting period was less than fifteen
minutes from the scheduled appointment time!!! The doctor still had all the
time to listen to us and patiently heard our concerns. While assuring that he
will do his best, he also told us that treatment that he is going to provide is
no different from any other IVF/ICSI clinics. The difference is that both of
them have been in this field for quitea long period and the experience that
they gained over this period of time. A good doctor needs to know a bit of
human psychology too..!! It was a one day affair and we paid the advance amount
and got some blood tests done.
With the learning on Patient’s rights we
attempted to get our old medical records from the clinics but without any
success. Being employed in a private firm getting the leaves for the treatment
was something which I had to manage. The fact that we could take the medicines
and the scans from anywhere in the world and need to be there only from the tenth
day of periods was a great relief for us. We could send the reports and
photographs over email and doctor will reply to it by night. This saved me
leaves and could manage every treatment cycle with seven to ten days of leave. I
mentioned about my treatment plan and requirements of leave to my manager and
he was very supportive. This relieved me of some work pressure, and I am
thankful to him for that.
For the next cycle we went to Mumbai for our
first attempt of ICSI at Malpani. The medicines were as mentioned in the
website. We spend a few days roaming around sightseeing. It was a rainy season.
By the time of the egg pick up the effect of the medications were seen, she had
complained about high temperature on palms and feet. Was it because of the
rains or the effect of medicine? The egg pick up was under general anaesthesia.
We got good eggs and also got good quality embryos for freezing too. The
fertilization was normal and the embryo transfer was also smooth. The embryos
were shown to us on the day of embryo transfer and the quality and
classification of embryos explained to us. The embryo transfer was done in my
presence, which was a first time experience for me. Dr Malpani would ask us
what we were praying, while he was about to perform the procedure, and would
suggest to pray “whatever happens let it be for good”. In all the previous
clinics the entire procedure was carried out as though it was some sort of
which craft with no transparency what so ever. In the case of Malpani clinic
embryo that was going to be placed was shown to us by Dr Saiprasad the fulltime embryologist.The report contained information on the number of eggs collected, embryos fertilized, embryos transferred, the grade of the
embryo transferred and the grade of the remaining embryos and the photographs
of all embryos. We choose to freeze the remaining embryos. For each and every
financial transaction we were provided with the bill. There was also no
restriction on the manner in which payment has to be done. The entire dealing
was so transparent and assuring, after all ethics cannot exist in bits and
pieces.
But unfortunately the results were negative. And
it was disheartening, the doctor assured that the embryos were good and the
fertilization was also good, and this means that the chances of getting
pregnant are good. We did the next cycle with frozen embryos. This time the beta
HCG showed a slight positive but it proved to be a chemical pregnancy. We did
ICSI cycles several times with frozen and fresh embryos. In couple of cycles
the medicine dosages were varied.In every single visit we had at Malpani Clinic
we used to return satisfied that we got the best we could get. The entire team
at Malpani was very cooperative and helpful and considerate, and this cannot be
just for us because we were no special patient for them.
In one of the cycles we learned a simple method
to reduce body heat and discomfort because of medication—increase the water
intake. The 8 glasses of water a day rule won’t help since we are taking
medicines which change our metabolism. Instead we ordered one litre mineral
water bottles. This helped to keep trac kof the water intake. She started taking
one full litre bottle every two to three hours and ensured that she finishes minimum four
to fivebottles of water in a day. This allowed the body heat to be maintained normal
and she was feeling comfortable even with the higher doses of medicines that
were administered. The fact that eight glasses of water was not sufficient was
hinted to us by Dr Anjali Malpani. Usually when my wife complained about body
heat advice was to drink “more water”. This usually will prompt an increase in
intake by say another two-three glasses of water in a day. But from our
experience the water intake should be so frequent and in good volumes such that
the burning sensation on feet and palm is not felt by the patient. So she used
to take as much water as possible at a time, and after some time she will have
to pass urine, and immediately after that she will again have water as much as
possible. I would hence advice the same to others who is undergoing treatment.
In the last couple of attempts with the fresh
embryo and frozen embryo, the embryo was allowed to grow until the blastocyst
stage and a day five transfer was done. And why I am writing my story now
because one of those attempts gave positive results. And now we do have a baby
of our own.
If we had gone to Malpani fourteen years back
would we have got the baby earlier? I can’t say, may be we were destined to get
one when we almost lost hope so that we will value it most. May be, had we got
a baby earlier we would not have been as thankful as we are now. Or God just
thought we were not grown enough to raise a baby.
The last seventeen years has thought us how
valuable is the support of parents and siblings for an infertile couple to pass
through the mental rollercoasters. They were there with us to share the mental
and psychological strains we were through, and were extremely conscious that
none of their deeds hurt us. To all those out there trying for a baby, if you
are destined to get your baby you will get one day, don’t lose hope.
And if you
want to get medical assistance for getting one, Malpani Infertility Clinic will
be the one which can give you a comforting and stress free experience through
your treatment cycles. Best of luck, May God bless you all.
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