One would think that in this day and age , where everyone has free access to the internet, most adults would be very well informed about sexuality as well as fertility , but unfortunately, the number of myths and misconceptions in this space is mind-boggling.
In fact, the
internet has exacerbated the problem of misinformation,
because a lot of the " sex education " that teenagers get is through
watching porn online. This misleads them , and they have a very distorted
perception of the truth . An even bigger problem is that they don't even realize how little they know, as a result of
which they continue to remain clueless .
Others get
snippets of "facts" from friends, or advice from " aunties
", who don't know too much themselves, but think of themselves as being
experts just because they have made a baby in their own bedroom.
This is one of
the reasons why sexual problems such as premature ejaculation , erectiledysfunction, and vaginismus have become such common causes of childlessness.
These issues
are swept under the carpet , partly because patients don’t know how to describe
them; partly because they don't volunteer this information because they are
ashamed; and partly because doctors don't have enough time or empathy to be
able to ask questions about these sensitive issues to be able to get at the
truth .
The problem
festers, and becomes worse over time, because it is caused by psychological issues, and these become self fulfilling
prophecies. The poor couple have absolutely no idea how to get out of this
chakravyuh , and because it's such a touchy subject, they don’t have the courage
to resolve it, because they don’t know how to find reliable information about
this topic.
There are many
quacks out there – both online and in the real world – who take these gullible,
ignorant and vulnerable couples for a ride.
The good news
is that these are extremely easy problems to solve , and you need to have the
confidence that you can fix them for yourself in your own bedroom !
A very useful tip
to remember is that you need to differentiate between baby-making sex, and having sex for giving
each other sexual pleasure . If you try to combine the two , especially when
you have sexual difficulties , you will just end up making the problem even worse
!
These problems
need to be solved one step at a time, and it can take time to solve
psychological issues. This is why setting your priorities is so important. If
getting pregnant is your primary goal, then you can use mutual masturbation to
give each other sexual pleasure, and utilize self-insemination to get pregnantquickly. Don’t try to optimise making love with making babies at the same time
– this will just waste precious time, and create more
angst and frustration.
Remember that there is no correlation between sexual pleasure and fertility – after all, even a woman who gets raped can get pregnant ! Making babies is a simple biological process , and you shouldn't confuse orgasm, sex, and fertility !
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