Most IVF patients are mature enough to realize that the success rate in an IVF cycle is never going to be a 100%. No matter how perfect your embryos are; how good your doctor is; and how easy the transfer is , we still have no control over implantation, and cannot predict which embryos will become a babies. Patients come to terms with the risk of failure, because they know that doctors are not gods.
However, they find that while the doctor can be extremely persuasive and charming when they go for their first consultation ( because they are in sell mode and want the patient to sign up for the IVF treatment), when their IVF treatment fails, they often feel abandoned . They are desperately seeking answers, but they find no one is willing to provide them.
When they reach out to the clinic, often the doctor's simply not available . When they try to meet him, they find it's very difficult to get an appointment . Even when they finally get a chance to talk to him, they find he's very evasive, and refuses to provide any clear answers as to why the IVF cycle failed. Even though patients understand that we can't always answer all their questions, they want to hear the truth from the doctor's mouth. The trouble is that doctors start equivocating, and come up with all kinds of flimsy answers which patients know are not truthful.
The doctor who was very optimistic and hopeful at the time of the embryo transfer because he told you that they had created perfect top quality embryos for you, starts singing a completely different tune when your cycle fails . He now claims that the reason for your failure is that " Your embryos weren't very good because your eggs weren't very good" and "Perhaps we should consider doing donor egg IVF for you, or surrogacy in your next cycle". Sadly, you don't have any photos of your embryos, and this advice comes as a bolt out of the blue . Patients are understandably upset, because the doctor is not being consistent and congruent.
This is why they start losing confidence in the doctor , and feel that they've been cheated .
When an IVF cycle fails, a good doctor realises you are hurting, and will proactively reach out to support you. He will invite you back , so you can analyse the cycle together, and create a plan of action for the future, based on what went right, and what needs to be tweaked.
Can't understand what your doctor is saying ? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion and I will be happy to help you !