Saturday, February 13, 2016

Words of wisdom from an infertile woman

Infertility threatens to be a never-ending journey for some. A lot of prayers, a lot of good wishes and miracles - don't let go of these. And I don't say you'd have to live like a saint rationalising your frustration and swallowing those tubfuls of tears. Some can. I didn't and was fortunate to have family and Doctors who would be patient with irrationality and bear with the ravings of a baby-deprived 34 year old! My mother would say there's a time for everything. I could only ask "when, when, when...?", knowing that it was a rhetorical question. Only God determines and disposes, as part of the saying goes.

We had been to a number of Doctors and fertility clinics. We were made to feel like we were some sort of an inferior race who needed to be pushed into iuis, ivfs and donor eggs. I can tell you it makes one feel indignant and does its bit to undermine one's confidence and deepen the chasm of deprivation that has anyway been developing. It's God and one's family that help one to go on. Add to that string of benevolent powers, Doctors Anjali and Aniruddha Malpani.

A patient doesn't only want a solution to her problem, she also needs to unburden, for that might be a first step in making an afflicted mind and body lighter, cleaner. She wants to understand, not merely to take a prescription in a nasty scrawl to the counter. Drs Malpani are friend, psychiatrist, gynaecologists par excellence, all rolled into one, to the patient. Their kind and smiling staff do their bit to make you feel lighter. I spent a fortnight being treated at the Malpani clinic and many emails before and after this time written to ask a zillion queries. These were always answered promptly and with a kindness and concern that destroys utterly the warped notion that being professional means behaving like a zombie and expecting your patient to behave like one too.

I conceived naturally nearly 6 months after my treatment. It's still early days so I'd better not sound like a mum of two already (fingers crossed for a healthy baby). I can say with confidence, however, and I'm certain my husband will join me in saying this, that the care, empathy and warmth shown us during my treatment at Dr Malpanis' brought us peace and confidence. It was very, very hard to face a negative after my ICSI procedure. But the treatment was   like a patient's dream, especially for as nervous a patient as I was.  We have our tiny blastocysts preserved with Drs Malpani and look forward to meeting them again. In any case, I haven't stopped bothering them with emails, sent whenever an alarm bell rings. I know that my request for advice will be addressed and with as much concern as would be given a patient present at the facility, and I shall always be grateful for this. It's an incomplete story yet, but as Dr Malpani would say "hang in there." And when you're being treated there, it's easy to hold on to your reserves of strength and hope and renew them too.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's so important that we understand what infertile women are going through and for those recently diagnosed to know what to expect.

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