I come across a lot of intelligent young women these days. They are accomplished professionals who are capable and competent. They're doing extremely well in lots of areas in their life - they're super achievers. They used to top their class; did extremely well in college; and are now excelling in their workplace. They are usually perfectionists, - and want to do everything they do flawlessly. Not only do they study hard, they're good at sports, and now that they've found the perfect husband, they want to become perfect homemakers , and to have just the right balanced lifestyle.
However, when it comes to having a child, they get cold feet , because they are worriers. They worry a lot about their fertility; about how they will manage their work responsibilities during their pregnancy; and worry a lot about whether they will be able to do a good job with raising their child. They want their child to be perfect as well - someone who will excel, and outshine them.
Since they are responsible planners, they are worried about whether they will be able to do justice to their child. The reason they want to postpone child bearing is because they think the timing is not perfect. Often they're not ready because they first want to go achieve the pinnacle of success in their career - so they want to become the President of their Bank, or the CEO of their company. They realise this is a full-time ambition, and they believe that only once they've done achieved this will they be ready to move on and then conquer the next peak , and become the perfect mom. Others are petrified about whether they will be able to bring up their child well. They don't feel any maternal instincts, and are scared that they will not be able to maintain the same high standards they are used to when raising a child . Being a perfectionist is not easy, and they understand that raising a child is a complex exercise and they aren't willing to commit to this until they feel the fabled biological urge to perpetuate their genes.
The reality is that the timing for many life-changing decisions is never perfect - and it's always hard to have your cake and eat it too. There is a price you pay for everything in life - and deferring a decision can often be an expensive choice.
One option we encourage them to explore is egg freezing, which allows them to pause time and preserve their fertility while pursuing a career.