Monday, December 21, 2015

Our parenthood dream achieved at Malpani IVF Clinic


Finally after all the years of pain and desperation to have a baby (8yrs), we finally conceived our child. In the most humble way we want to convey our sincere gratitude to Dr. Malpani. My diagnosis was poor ovarian reserve (low amh, high fsh). Before starting our cycle at Dr. Malpani’s clinic, we went through several rounds of treatments in the past both in US and India – 4 clomids, 3 IUIs, laproscopy for checking for endometriosis, 2 failed IVF attempts and 1 failed donor tissue (egg) cycle(I am using “tissue” for a reason, it’s not my term, one of the RE in USA used it and I liked the concept and psychologically it simplifies and is soothing). Post all failed treatments, I completely lost faith -mainly on the doctors, because of the way the whole case was dealt, there was absolutely no compassion, no understanding and it was all money oriented treatment and exploiting patients at the vulnerable moments. Based on all such experiences (both in India and US) and the kind of doctors I came across made me doubt if I could ever believe in a doctor again.

I took a sabbatical from the doctors altogether for 3 yrs. That said, as and when the treatments were failing, my longing for a baby increased exponentially. There was a strong urge to not lose hope that I can have a baby in this life. I would like to share in detail 3 things via this testimonial:
1.    How did I arrive at donor decision?
2.    How did I arrive into Dr. Malpani’s safe hands?
3.    What really went well with my cycle at Dr. Malpani’s clinic

I am providing a very detailed account of my journey just for the sake of the new patients. Hope my journey will make your decisions easier.

How did I arrive at donor decision?

Not having a biological connection with your baby is heart wrenching. When I was given this option few years back, I wanted to scream at the top of my voice. I was devastated knowing that I couldn’t do it myself. Even my first egg sharing experience was not our choice. The doctor utilized the emotional moment and coaxed us into egg sharing and we succumbed to that moment. But after all the emotional turmoil, my longing for a child grew stronger. I started to google to find hope stories and that’s how I came across a remarkable person, Julia Indichova who is the author of the books “The Inconceivable” and “The Fertile Female” and her incredible work “FertileHeart OVUM Tools (Fertileheart.com)”.

After ardently practicing the visualization work with my heart and soul and by participating in Fertile Heart online teleconference sessions & attending the workshop in New York (in person), that were led by Julia Indichova, I realized that this whole fertility and baby journey was indeed a miracle and a blessing and not a curse or a burden. It strengthened my inner voice, allowed me to view myself as the supreme authority, take charge of mine and my not yet born baby’s welfare and develop immense faith and confidence and understand the fact that baby making is a miracle, no matter whichever route it happens – natural or via IVF/donor/adoption/surrogacy.  I understood the fact and bowed down to the current of life and let go of my control that the baby comes on his/her timetable and not mine.

After all the hard work for couple of years, I have naturally arrived at a point where my heart, her majesty clearly provided the guidance to follow my longing and welcome a child into my life no matter how he/she ended up, which is how I chose the donor route as it no longer mattered to me how my child arrived into my world, becoming a MOTHER was of utmost importance to me, while I completely trusted, respected , and ensured I had permission from my body baby to go this route because without its tremendous support I could have never become pregnant in the first place. I have never given up on myself. I still believe I can get pregnant by myself naturally or via ART, but my longing to be a MOM is clearer than having a biological connection with my child. This was definitely not an overnight, hasty decision. The visualization work really allowed the answer to come up on its own accord at physical, mental and emotional planes. My body, mind and soul were in unison about this decision and most importantly I had complete support of my husband. He was a pillar of support to me throughout this whole journey and it just strengthened our bond enormously with no leaps and bounds. And last but not least, we would like to thank the donor wholeheartedly. I pray to GOD to really bless her with health, wealth, and happiness.

I would encourage folks who are struggling on this journey to spend just few minutes of your time to watch this video – http://www.fertileheart.com/about-fertile-heart/fertile-welcome-victim-visionary/

How did I land at Dr. Malpani’s Clinic?

With that preface on the Fertileheart work and its impact, I would like to now focus on how I finally decided to go with Dr. Malpani. The fertileheart work taught me that it was absolutely necessary for us to take reigns into our hands, it’s our life, our baby and so we have vested interest to absolutely ask right questions and gain clarity before we begin the treatment.Once I made a decision to pursue donor route, it was utmost critical for me to find the right, trustworthy doctor.I have my own worse experiences & I have heard so many horror stories online, especially while embarking on donor route where we have no clue who the donor could be, what her background is, we are solely dependent on the doctor who will be making this decision on our behalf and so picking the right doctor was extremely crucial. Also this is pretty costly affair and I have already spent several thousands of dollars on all kinds of treatments in the past, not to forget the mental agony we had to face each time. Hence, this time I was not worried about how long it took to find the right doctor, I was in no hurry. I actually did my doctor research for 4-5months. I picked the most famous doctors from every nook and corner of India. With my rich experience of facing unreliable doctors&fraudulent clinics, I was sending emails to the doctors with similar content and carefully analyzed their responses:

•    How much time did they take to respond; who is corresponding with the patient - main doctor, junior docs or some admin folks?
•    How are they responding, what mode of communication do they prefer? Did they insist on seeing you in person before starting the treatment?
•    Did they ask for additional tests before commencement of the treatment, in spite of providing all the details?  Are they promising any guarantees for success? (I wasn’t expecting anyone to do this)
•    What’s their response on the diagnosis and my age (btn I am 35), are they saying it’s too late and I need to hurry and will be missing the baby bus if I delay further?
•    Do they have valid websites? If yes, what kind of staff do they have, what kind of equipment do they have?
•    what kind of treatment protocols were they following, what kind of information on the treatment did they provide on their websites and in the emails
•    When googled what kind of information I could get on the doctors (both positive and negative)
•    Last but most important of all, the testimonials that were published on their websites, are they detailed enough, did the patients provide their email ids, were the testimonials sharing detailed accounts of patients journey (one can’t make up this part, everyone’s journey is different)?

These were some of the key criteria that I used for my research. And the next step was to start sending out emails to the patients who provided emails ids in the testimonial websites. Actually other than Dr. Malpani’s website, I hardly found other websites where patient email ids were exposed. I have emailed around 10 patients of Dr.Malpani (some of them who went via donor process), guess what?? 8 out of 10 folks emailed me back, re-assuring I was making the best decision of my life. One of the patients was kind enough to email me her kids pictures (who went the donor route). I was so overwhelmed with her response and the faces of her beautiful children just melted my heart. That’s it, it was clear to me that I was going to place myself in the safest hands. There was no looking back.Building the trust was key for this process.

Details of Best in Class Treatment at Dr. Malpani’s clinic

I started my communication with Dr. Malpani and God really bless him, I have no clue how he manages to respond to the emails within just hours. He carefully guided me on what all tests and ultrasounds I had to get done in USA and how to order the medications etc& guided me through every small step with extreme patience to prepare towards my treatment cycle. Here’s what makes Dr. Malpani’s Clinic the best in class fertility clinic:

•    For patients like me who are overseas, all our conversations were via emails. In fact he clearly mentioned that he preferred email communication as that way it’s all documented and the scope for confusion is fairly low. So I directly met him on Day13 of my cycle. Trust me I just don’t think this is a possible with any other doctor.

•    Throughout the whole process, we have exchanged around 300 emails. Thank you so very much Sir for being patient and answering every silly question of mine

•    He always encouraged questions. This really makes him unique compared to other doctors. As most of them never like patients asking questions and don’t bother to answer them. That was the same be it in India or US. At least the doctors I met felt threatened or irritated when I asked them questions.

•    I finally went to Mumbai and stayed there exactly for 10 days. Everything was meticulously planned. The sperm collection box had our details clearly laid out, no chance of mess up. This might seem simple but things like this define the quality of the clinic (this was a huge issue at another famous Chennai IVF clinic where I went earlier).

•    Looks are deceptive, so don’t go with the outside look of the clinic and don’t judge. Clinic was neat, clean, high quality procedures, would say on par with USA standards, I was very surprised, especially based on my previous Chennai experience, which was a huge hospital.

•    Best part of Dr. Malpani when we met him in person was, he just simplifies everything and puts his patients at ease, provides complete clarity on the process. IVF process itself is such a complicated process and all my earlier experiences were pretty horrific, like a rolla-coaster ride. But this time, it was literally like a holiday for us, we spent quality time in Mumbai, free of tension (also because of the Fertileheart work, I learnt nothing was in my control and there is no point fretting over every small thing, so started letting go of controlling ever uncontrollable situation….lol)

•    On the day of transfer, Dr. Sai, embryologist showed us our embryos. It was a beautiful moment. I never saw my embryos earlier. He explained to us about the quality of the embryos. This I felt is a very crucial step and UNIQUE to Dr. Malpani’s clinic for 2 reasons: Firstly, this shows the confidence of the clinic and their exemplary work and secondly, it instantly connects us to the unborn child, triggering lots of psychological effects within the body. (At this juncture, I need to share my horrific experience at Chennai clinic where my ET was done along with another patient on Day2 (Yes you read it correctly), Doctor waited for Rahu Kalam to pass and there was horrific silence by embryologist when I asked how did they ensure that the embryos were not mixed up. 4 embryos were transferred. Same darn equipment was used….unhygienic. Rest you can imagine my plight, thank god that ivf failed)

•    Embryo transfer (ET) procedure was performed in such a sophisticated way on DAY5, using abdominal ultrasound that provides good picture of the uterus and helps to transfer the embryos more accurately. Day 5 transfer again proves the confidence the clinic has in their staff, processes and best in class technology. I have never seen using ultrasound even in US for ET.

•    Dr. Malpani’s bed side manners were just impeccable. He continuously engaged me in a conversation on what all I did in Mumbai for the past week while transferring the embryos and were talking to the embryos to nicely stick with “momma”. It was such a sweet moment. Before we left the clinic, we got pictures of the embryos along with our medical file. Again we never saw this in our 8yrs of experience. This sets the clinic at a totally different level compared to other clinics.

•    Dr. Malpani is very open and frank. He clearly mentioned no need of any kind of bed rest post ET (whereas for my last failed ivf in Chennai, I was put on very strict bed rest, not even allowed to change from side to side, it was so much torturous, they made us stay in their hospital for  15 days post transfer. I now realized their fraudulent act, too late but at least this info might help you guys who are reading this testimonial). In fact I travelled back to US 3 days after ET.

•    Another thing that I greatly appreciated was that he clearly said that he and his team have the best expertise, state of art, best in class equipment but post embryo transfer its all left to nature as no one till date have exact answer on what happens during implantation and didn’t guarantee the result but asked to maintain positive attitude, at the same time not to blame myself for failure, if at all it fails. And if at all the cycle fails, we are first to blame ourself – Oh maybe I shouldn’t have travelled, taken bed rest, oops I sneezed, coughed. He clearly said the embryos cannot be touched by any external force and are safe in uterus and will not be impacted any of our gestures.I really was amazed at his frankness. Most of the patients might not like to hear it, but that’s truth. He did all he can to his best ability. No wonder baby making is a miracle, else all of us could have our babies using IVF without issues. That’s where I strongly feel GOD comes into play to prove his magic.

•    Even though I am not in Mumbai and successfully got into my 2nd trimester, till date if I have any questions, Dr. Malpani always answers them promptly. Even my US Obgyn keeps asking me to check with him for any questions !

•    Lastly, he has excellent source of information on his website. It’s like a mini library and the blogs he writes, especially encouraging folks to do the homework, ask questions, importance of meditation, encourages alternate medicine and patients to make their own decision etc just shows his impeccable, compassionate human being and that is what makes him BEST doctor

•    Lastly, I just have one complaint SIR, when all the work that you are doing is so FERTILE, why do you call your clinic as “Infertility Clinic”? Please change the name to Dr. Malpani Fertility Clinic Sir !!

Finally my conclusion, you are in best and safe hands if you plan to go with Dr. Malpani. I sincerely thank GOD for making me arrive at the right clinic finally after all these years. And thank you Sir for your all your expertise and finally introducing me and my husband to our long desired path of parenthood!

If I can be of any help to any of the patients, please feel free to send me an email to smymalladi@gmail.com

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