It's the woman who is at the heart of an IVF treatment cycle. She is at the receiving end of all the probing and prodding, the shots and the scans, while all the husband needs to do is to provide a sperm sample when needed.
Wives expect support from their husbands during their IVF treatment , but because men are often so clueless about what is going on during the IVF cycle, that they offer precious little help. This aggravates the wife even more, because she feels her husband is not contributing at all, and concludes that he doesn't care .
On the other hand, many husbands feel sad that they can't play an active role, and that they are being relegated to the role of helpless bystanders.
However, a key role every husband can play is in helping his wife organise the logistics which IVF treatment entails. IVF involves a lot of juggling, because there are so many things to do - most of which seem to happen on the same day !
IVF treatment can be complicated and it's important for the wife to follow the doctor's advise precisely to ensure a successful outcome. Thus, if she forgets to take her HCG trigger shot at the right time, her doctor will not be able to collect any eggs at the time of retrieval, and her chances of getting pregnant will go down to zero. This is every patient's nightmare, and can be a huge price to pay for an oversight on her part !
This is why IVF clinics give their patients detailed treatment calendars and protocols, so they know what they need to do on each day. However, these are complex, and can easily overwhelm the poor patient. She is often mentally fatigued and emotionally upset, and her mood swings ( which are a result of her hormonal shots ) make it easy for her to forget key medical information. ( Did I take the shot I was supposed to at the right time ? Did I forget to insert the pessary yesterday ?)
Because the husband has no clue what's going on, all he does is ask - Are you sure you know what to do ( a question which irritates his wife even more !)
This is why we have created a free android app for IVF patients called
MyFertilityDiary ! All IVF patients have a smartphone, and you can now download this app ( for yourself and your wife) to help you help her to manage her IVF cycle.
The unique heart of the app is the IVF Treatment Calendar. This has calendars for all the IVF treatment protocols, including the following:
Long downregulation with Lupron
Minimal stimulation IVF
You can edit and modify this calendar , so that you can follow the exact treatment protocol as prescribed by your doctor. You can set alarms and reminders, so you remember your wife's appointments and her medications. Your wife will be very impressed that you know exactly what's going on during her IVF treatment - and she will be very grateful when you remind her about what she needs to do on a daily basis. This proves that you care because you are being an active and engaged loving spouse.
This app will help you to become a well-informed and loving IVF husband , and will also improve your wife's chances of getting pregnant !
You can download the app at