Sunday, April 29, 2012

Our Surrogacy Gift - from Western Australia

We decided to start a family several years ago.  Being a same sex couple from Perth, Western Australia we had no choice but to look overseas to have a family.  I travelled to India in 2010 to visit a few clinics but came home disappointed.  We couldn’t give up on our dream of a family so we started to research again.   This is when we found the Malpani Clinic.   Speaking to Dr Malpani was very reassuring, he didn’t have any problem helping a same sex couple become parents.   WOW, our journey is beginning. 

I travelled to India in March 2011 for my initial visit and to provide him with my sample.   Dr Malpani then arranged everything for us.  Helped us plan our trip providing maps, list of accommodation near the Clinic and transport information.   Dr Malpani organised the surrogate, egg donor and legal contracts.  It seemed as though he took a personal interest in our wellbeing as well as helping us have our family.    Dr Malpani is very open and honest advising us upfront of all the costs involved which have remained as quoted throughout the entire process.

We had 3 tries with our first surrogates which were all unsuccessful.  The disappointment needed to be put into context as all pregnancies happen immediately as so much is involved.   Dr Malpani was always positive and encouraging.

Yay, success.  We are so excited and totally over the moon.  It hasn’t been overnight being 12 months since we first contacted Dr Malpani and 11 months since our first transfer attempt.   Dr Malpani  sent an email on a Sunday to let us know that we were pregnant.     When I received the email from Dr Malpani I knew it was the pregnancy test results. I couldn’t look so I threw the phone at my partner asking him to read it first.  Let’s just say that it was an emotional moment for us.  We have never experienced so much happiness at any news.  The word happiness just doesn’t seem to cover the emotions felt.

We are now 6 weeks pregnant.   The first ultrasound has shown a healthy embryo.  Dr Malpani is not financially motivated and is only interested in creating families.  I cannot recommend Dr Malpani and his clinic enough.

Brian & Adrian

brian.jeffreys@ymail.com


8 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:23 PM

    Dear Dr,

    From the time I read this post I am bit curious and amazed. I have no rights to judge anyone or their personal needs. But I am wondering about you and your staffs. Are you 100% emotionally comfortable to offer such an option to same sex couples, especially men? How do you counsel your staffs? What will be the plight of the baby if someone wants to end the relationship? Do you study the psyclogy of such same sex partners before agreeing to offer them such treatment?

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  2. Anonymous12:38 AM

    Dr, do you think my questions are too foolish to answer? :( If yes, just tell me that atleast!

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  3. Anonymous11:17 AM

    Please do answer Dr. Only this topic is haunting me all the time

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  4. I think anyone whose desire for a baby is so strong that they are willing to do IVF is likely to become a good parent, whether they are single , divorced or same sex couples. There are many parenting styles - and it's quite naive to assume that traditional heterosexual marriages provide the best family environment for parenting !

    Yes, we do counsel them - just like we counsel all our patients.

    And don't forget that traditional marriages can also end in a divorce !

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  5. Anonymous7:25 PM

    Thank you Dr! Whether homosexual marriages can also provide the best environment for parenting is still under question, because the concept of having children when in a homosexual partnership is very new. But a single woman or a single man can provide the needed child care very efficiently-even though the child will miss the missing sex. So two men or two woman should be better than one but cannot be better than a heterosexual couple (my personal view!). Don’t a combination of woman and a man provide a balanced mixture of emotional and intellectual care for a child? Women are evolutionarily privileged to enjoy child bearing and child caring. Fathers do help in child care but before weaning the child needs the warmth of a woman. I am sure the child will be separated from the surrogate as soon as it is born and given to its parents (owners might be the right word here- Sorry, I am not trying to be spiteful!).
    It is too hard for my heart to accept that it will be OK for the baby but my brain says it is possible and OK too! But funnily my heart says everything is fine when two women want to have a baby :). I hope Brian and Adrian will give the baby all their love. My hearty wishes to both of them!

    Dr, when I read that the sperm count in men has decreased over the past 50 years I was wondering about it! Now when I think of men and child caring, I also realise that the role of men in our society has changed a lot over the past decades. In olden days men are rarely seen helping with household works or child care (although there are always exceptions!). But now-a-days after a woman has expanded their horizons the duty of a man has changed too. Most modern day men help with house hold chores and child care-as a result men have become less aggressive and more feminine (more caring, softer etc) too. I read when a man engages himself in child care his testosterone levels fall down. Can this be the reason why men are producing less sperms than 50 years ago? (crazy hypothesis!). Might be men of recent days are more docile and less aggressive because of their social environment? I do not think chemicals and other factors play a role in decreasing sperm production. It should be more of a psychological impact than of any direct impact on reproductive system. The same applies to woman too. That is why PCOD (a problem of extra testosterone!) is more prevalent in women now-a-days-because they have come out of their softer shell and have started to work hard on par with men? It is very interesting to imagine what the modern society will evolve into!

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  6. Brian Jeffreys4:47 AM

    Dr Malpani,

    Hi I saw your response to anonymous commenter on my blog thank you so much for your defense very impressed I do although understand other peoples reservations but My partner and I have been together nearly 13 yrs and have not entered into this lightly nor without full support of family and friends and do not think anybody could want love or support a child more than us. Also our child will not be without a female perspect we have a large group of female family and freinds wantinig to be there to offer support if required. Thank you again for helping create this life for us.

    Regards
    Brian Jeffreys

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  7. Gone through surrogacy once and soon to be a parent again via surrogacy, I think surrogacy is wonderful. When it comes to parenthood, it doesn't matter if there are one or two parents, males or females. There are many heterosexual couples that are bad parents. Good parenting is a skill - not a gene. I cannot believe there are such ignorant people in this world.

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  8. Anonymous6:24 AM

    Good parenting is a skill - not a gene. There are many heterosexual couples that are bad parents. Such ignorant people in this world floors me.

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