When the IVF cycle fails, patients often blame their doctor for not doing a good job. However, this blame game does not help at all ! It just creates anger and resentment, as a result of which patients become bitter and lose confidence in all doctors.
When things don't go according to plan, I always tell the patient that you need to take a proactive role in your treatment, before your treatment starts, s you know exactly what to expect. This way, if things are not going as expected, you know this before the problems get worse.
This does not mean that you need to become a medical expert - but it does mean you need to become an expert patient !
For one thing, there's little point in blaming someone else for problems. Even if these do occur because the doctor goofed, obsessing over this just makes a bad situation worse, because you them end up playing the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" game.
In any case, you can never change someone else's behaviour - you can only change your own !
Many patients complain that doctors don't give them their medical records. While it's true that
good clinics will do this routinely, part of the problem is patients don't bother to ask for them either ! If you request the doctor to give you a copy of your records in writing, no one will refuse to do so. You do have a legal right to your records , but you need to assert this.
The important thing is not to treat yourself as a helpless victim. Take active responsibility for your medical care - and learn from your mistakes, so you don't repeat them again !
Be charitable - and never attribute to malice which is a result of stupidity - everyone is allowed to make mistakes once !